tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6860351105799401846.post8603493780533945955..comments2022-11-16T04:10:21.380-08:00Comments on A year without sex: To wish without hopingMarkhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12827519093295854771noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6860351105799401846.post-51914091276079444972009-05-23T04:59:52.948-07:002009-05-23T04:59:52.948-07:00Hey, thanks for that, Sungold! I have only just se...Hey, thanks for that, Sungold! I have only just seen this comment now. I must check my settings! I agree that what she does she must do for her own sake, and not for mine. As you very astutely pointed out to me, any change that I can validly hope to have come out of this year must a change in me, not her. That is something that is both self evident, and yet that I also need to be constantly reminded of. I can work -- and am working -- on that. This blog is a part of that work. <br /><br />I feel a bit hobbled, though, in that I can't see how I can encourage her to look at her own issues without at the same time implicitly pressuring her. We are not in open dialogue about this stuff, and though she is generally emotionally astute, she is not at all emotionally open -- not even to me. Well, not without a fair bit of poking and prodding, anyway!<br /><br />I am beginning to suspect that this may turn into a two year project! One year of abstinence from any sort of pressure, and a second year of trying to work harder together to move things forward. <br /><br />The second year may well be the more interesting one!Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12827519093295854771noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6860351105799401846.post-6828433689455702412009-05-06T18:45:00.000-07:002009-05-06T18:45:00.000-07:00Thanks for calling me "lovely," Mark! That doesn't...Thanks for calling me "lovely," Mark! That doesn't happen just every day. I'm glad if something I said helped break a logjam. <br /><br />It really sounds like there's stuff in her past that she needs to deal with, <I>for her own sake, first and foremost.</I> I'm hoping you can reach a warm enough detente that she feels inspired to try to work through whatever is keeping her from connecting to you.Sungoldhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02153155221248240952noreply@blogger.com