An attempt to live in a marriage without sex for a year. My goal is to not initiate sex, not hint at a desire for sex, not do anything to in anyway suggest to my wife that I have any interest in sex. My hope is that this will break us out of the chaser/chase-ee cycle, and hopefully reignite her libido, and with it, our relationship.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
thought for the day...
thought for the day: "You Can't Change Someone Else."
Mark, in response to a recent comment you left on my blog, I offer this definition of sexual anorexia from Patrick Carnes (guru of sex addiction recovery): Sexual anorexia is an obsessive state in which the physical, mental, and emotional task of avoiding sex dominates one's life. Like self-starvation with food or compulsive dieting or hoarding with money, deprivation with sex can make one feel powerful and defended against all hurts.
As with any other altered state of consciousness, such as those brought on by chemical use, compulsive gambling or eating, or any other addiction process, the preoccupation with the avoidance of sex can seem to obliterate one's life problems. The obsession can then become a way to cope with all stress and all life difficulties. Yet, as with other addictions and compulsions, the costs are great. In this case, sex becomes a furtive enemy to be continually kept at bay, even at the price of annihilating a part of oneself.
Mark, in response to a recent comment you left on my blog, I offer this definition of sexual anorexia from Patrick Carnes (guru of sex addiction recovery):
ReplyDeleteSexual anorexia is an obsessive state in which the physical, mental, and emotional task of avoiding sex dominates one's life. Like self-starvation with food or compulsive dieting or hoarding with money, deprivation with sex can make one feel powerful and defended against all hurts.
As with any other altered state of consciousness, such as those brought on by chemical use, compulsive gambling or eating, or any other addiction process, the preoccupation with the avoidance of sex can seem to obliterate one's life problems. The obsession can then become a way to cope with all stress and all life difficulties. Yet, as with other addictions and compulsions, the costs are great. In this case, sex becomes a furtive enemy to be continually kept at bay, even at the price of annihilating a part of oneself.